'allo! So after yet another attack of panicky paranoia, I've decided to f-lock the majority of this journal.

Therefore...



So go ahead, leave me some love and we'll see if you pass the test.


PS. There really isn't a test.


PPS. All fics will remain public. Just fyi.


FO banner made by jiyu_gurafikkus.

Oh, fickle sleeptime
My weary eyes cannot rest
Fuck this stupidness.

Title: Every Spark (3/5)
Author: Krista or smilesawakeyou
Fandom: Band of Brothers
Pairing/characters: Kind of Babe/Doc Roe
Rating: PG-13 for language and some disturbing imagery
Disclaimer: I didn’t invent this show and I don’t propose to own it. Even if I did and you sued, all you would get is a shitty computer and my broken dreams. Anyway, I don’t so please leave me be. Also, this is meant to be based off of the characters of the HBO show, not the actual men themselves. So yeah... don't pitchfork me.
Author's Notes: Yet another chapter because it's already written so, hey, why not. This one takes place in Hagenau so it is of course kind of emo. And the plot thickens! Kind of. Well, at least there’s a rise in obvious UST. So yeah. Enjoy.
Length: 1138
Summary: Four times Babe Heffron and Eugene Roe almost collide and one time they do.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2


(  Hagenau is a world of pale watercolors; everything is washed-out and hazy and nothing feels right as they all try and hold onto some sanity after Bastogne. )

Title: Every Spark (2/5)
Author: Krista or smilesawakeyou
Fandom: Band of Brothers
Pairing/characters: Future Babe/Doc Roe
Rating: PG-13 for language and some disturbing imagery
Disclaimer: I didn’t invent this show and I don’t propose to own it. Even if I did and you sued, all you would get is a shitty computer and my broken dreams. Anyway, I don’t so please leave me be. Also, this is meant to be based off of the characters of the HBO show, not the actual men themselves. So yeah... don't pitchfork me.
Author's Notes: Hey again, here is the next chapter. I know it may appear that nothing continues to happen, but stuff totally is! Or something. Whatever, I prefer the slow-burn method. So enjoy.
Length: 1120
Summary: Four times Babe Heffron and Eugene Roe almost collide and one time they do.

Chapter 1


( It reminds him of his grandmother and the Rosary she used to carry with her at all times; counting the beads over and over as they slipped through hands covered in paper-thin skin. )

Well, I guess I talked about this enough, huh? Time to post something.

Title: Every Spark (1/5)
Author: Krista or smilesawakeyou
Fandom: Band of Brothers
Pairing/characters: Future Babe/Doc Roe
Rating: PG-13 for language and some disturbing imagery
Disclaimer: I didn’t invent this show and I don’t propose to own it. Even if I did and you sued, all you would get is a shitty computer and my broken dreams. Anyway, I don’t so please leave me be. Also, this is meant to be based off of the characters of the HBO show, not the actual men themselves. So yeah... don't pitchfork me.
Author's Notes: Hello! This is my first BoB fic ever and it started out as a one-shot that has now spiraled into this… thing. Anyway, I mentioned that I was writing this to annakovsky and she was all “omg post it!” so I am (perhaps foolishly) listening to her. This is un-beta’d so any mistakes are my own and each chapter will be disproportionately larger than the last, because that’s how this bitch rolls. The title is stolen from an Arcade Fire song because I’ve been listening to them a lot and I doubt they’ll care that I poached a lyric off of them. So enjoy!
Length: 1531
Summary: Four times Babe Heffron and Doc Roe almost collide and one time they do.



( It’s snowing and Babe Heffron can’t hear a damn thing. )

Title: An American Comic in London (2/?)
Author: Yours truly
Fandom: The Daily Show/Spaced
Pairing: Tim Bisley/Jon Stewart, Brian Topp/John Oliver
Rating: R for language, drug use, and couch sexings
Warning: AU, crossover, drug use, complete weirdness but not really crack, and John Oliver actually being predatory.
A/N: Holy update, Batman! So basically I start this *incoherent mumble* ago and just recently got back into it. Soooo yes. It’s a crossover! There’s sex! And British men! And Star Wars! And the sweet ganja times. Anyway, big props to _lady_vanilla_ for not only partially inspiring this crazy ass venture but reading over my incoherency and informing me of when my Americaness was jumping out and yelling “Soccer! Elevators! The correct way of saying tomato!” thus ruining the whole effect. So enjoy and hopefully it won’t take me another *mumbles incoherently again* years to get the next chapter out.

Oh, right, and if you’re unfamiliar with Spaced, at least watch the first episode :)

Length: 5,279
Feedback: Please comment. I need to know if this is too stupid for life. Also, concrit welcome.
Summary: A story of battlebots, boring pubs, pot, Star Wars, misunderstandings, and unlikely relationships.

Chapter One


( ''Jon gets perverse pleasure from watching grown men cry,'' John said, slipping on his coat. ''I once saw him elbow a man in the eye just to get some tears out of him. Ruthless, he is. Plain ruthless.'' )


Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons or copyrighted fictional persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).

Any mention of 'The Daily Show', 'The Colbert Report', 'Viacom', ‘Spaced’, any associated entities, or any copyrighted material pertaining therein is reasonably protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976 and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrighted material.

So I'm laying on a blow-up mattress on the floor of my now barren apartment and you know what's the only thing I can think about? Chairs. How the hell and WHY the hell did we invent chairs? I mean, there's the ground. There's shit we can put on the ground so our asses don't get wet and then some lazy motherfucker who didn't like to bend over decided to invent the chair.

Note: this rambling may be brought on by the fact that I'm half-drunk, just watched West Wing for 3 hours and am exhausted. Are exhausted? Fuck grammar, it's for plebes and nerds.


In conclusion:



Lol. I like Kirk's look at the end. It reads, "Yeah, your sexy ass is excepted. Rawr."

DO THIS:
~*MOTHERFUCKING MULTI-FANDOM GODDAMN FRIENDING MEME*~

IF YOU ARE BORED LIKE I AM AND/OR LIKE JOY



Also, I have been watching this on repeat since it was re-brought to my attention by someone over at fnff:



Dear God, I want all of my fandoms to just exist in one giant vat of awesome like this all the time.

In other news: I WANT TO SEE STAR TREK AGAIN. Who's with me?

DUDES


I GOT METAQUOTED


CRACKAH SAY WHAAAAAT?


ALSO, MILES KAHN (aka one of the head producer/writer dudes for TDS) CONGRATULATED ME FOR BEING CLEVER ON TWITTER


MY LIFE: IS NOW COMPLETE




...Oh, right, and there's that small thing about graduating in just a few hours. What the whaaaat?

An embarrassingly short amount of time. Shorter if there were any large insects involved in this "wild" experience because, as I was reminded this morning, bugs turn me into a flailing idiot who almost falls and breaks things in an effort to escape the harrowing dangers of a mosquito.






Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and shoot myself in the face. *shakes a fist at the God of Finals*

And heeeere's the lgbtfest at long last! With only a half hour to spare. Hahahha, fail.


Title: Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace: The Gay Issue
Author: Krista or smilesawakeyou
Fandom: Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace
Pairing/characters: A veritable hodge-podge. Seriously, it’s just… stupid.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Disclaimer: I didn’t invent this show and I don’t propose to own it. Even if I did and you sued, all you would get is a shitty computer and my broken dreams. Anyway, I don’t so please leave me be.
Prompt: #629: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, any characters, A lost episode of Darkplace dealing with what Garth referred to as "The Gay Issue." The fact that it is co-written by Dean Learner is, of course, completely coincidental.
Summary: Garth Marenghi and Dean Learner present the episode of Darkplace called “Queerly Beloved”, a truly monumental display of television ineptitude.
Warnings: None except for rampant homophobia and stereotypes
Author's Notes: If you’ve never seen Darkplace, this will make little-to-no sense. Hell, even if you HAVE seen it, it’ll probably make little-to-no sense. I apologize for how completely stupid this is… it was surprisingly difficult to write something purposefully bad. Or not purposefully bad. So yes, enjoy, and if you want to read yet haven’t watched the show, check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNfQ0ORwSDM



( Adjusting his tie and shifting the book in his hand, Garth regarded the camera aimed at his handsome face. )

Dude, rosnguil has totally been hacked. What can I do to alert lj that this has happened? I'm just worried people will click on shit. Arghhhhh stupid fucking bullshit. It's such a tiny community as well! Wah :(

Ok, so my period has come full force, like a blood-soaked tornado of DOOM.


To deal with it, I've decided to post more macros/things of silliness. And not do my writing. Boo.






( MOOOOAR )


THE END!




...Now I must go write some bullshit. *sigh*

Need I explain why I adore this?



...Now I must go to die via studying. Again. Blaaaaaaaaaaargh :(

HAI GUYS I MADE ICONS LIKE I PROMISED. They are... cracky? Hahahaha I don't even know.

A SNEAK PEAK:

001

002

003

( The rest under the cut. )


Should I post these in an icon community? y/y?

Attention world: I need an Ozymandias icon with the word "FAAAAABULOUS" on it. Can anyone help a sister out? Even just screen caps would be helpful because I will then make my own and share them with you.


Thaaaaanks :)

Yeah, I'm updating again but shut up because...



IT IS THREE DEGREES OUTSIDE, GUYS.




THREE DEGREES. OUTSIDE. OUT-FUCKING-SIDE. MY HOUSE HAS ZERO INSULATION SO IT IS COLD, PEOPLE. SERIOUSLY COLD. I AM IN A BLANKET YET STILL CANNOT FEEL MY FEET. MY LITTLE PIGGIES ARE NEVER GOING TO THE MARKET OR GETTING ROAST BEEF AGAIN BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING FROZEN WITH FROSTBITE AND EVEN WARM WATER WILL NEVER THAW THEM OUT. NOT EVEN THAT THERAPY SPA SHIT THEY DO FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN STRANDED IN THE GODDAMN ANDIES CAN SAVE MY STUPID FEET NOW.

AND IT'S ONLY SUPPOSED TO GET COLDER! COLDERRRRR. IT'S GETTING DOWN TO NEGATIVE ONE DEGREE. NEGATIVE ONE. NEGATIVE FUCKING ONE. THAT IS NOT ONLY THE ABSENCE OF WARMTH, IT IS COLD BURSTING IN AND ROBBING WARMTH BEFORE RAPING WARMTH AND TRASHING WARMTH'S HOUSE. FUCK THAT. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS FUCKING VIRGINIA, NOT GODDAMN ARCTIC PENGUIN SHIT.



FUCK YOU, NATURE.

1. The Royal Tenenbaums
2. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
3. My Spaced DVD set
4. Shaun of the Dead
5. A Hard Day's Night


Now I must go back to studying. Maybe once I've stopped hating life I'll write about real life... such as the fact that they recorded a Comedy Central special when I saw Patton Oswalt XD

Y HALO NEW DEFAULT ICON.



...Maybe someday I'll make an entry that doesn't blow. Or actually covers things I've been promising to cover. *le sigh*

Panda meat.

This almost beats that time I saw a monkey riding a cow in India:


THAT'S RIGHT. THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING HAWK WITH A WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL IN THE MIDDLE OF DC. YEAH. A HAWK JUST CHILLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY. AND THAT MOFO WAS THE SAME SIZE AS MY TORSO. HUUUUGE. HE FLEW WITH THE SQUIRREL (A HUGE ONE, BTW - IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS ALMOST A FOOT LONG) IN HIS TALONS. HE WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU, THIS IS MY SQUIRREL."


( A cut for more pictures )

Seriously, guys. Guys, seriously. I mean, I've seen hawks like that before but always in the middle of Missouri, not next to a bunch of huge office buildings. Basically, that is a badass bird and I have nooo idea where the hell something that big could live.


...Alright, back to resumes and wanting to kill myself.

Title: What Happens on Tour (or Five Times Jon Surprised Denis): Chapter 2
Author: Yours truly
Fandom: The Daily Show.
Pairing: Jon/Denis Leary, Denis/OFC (she’s just a tool, I swear!)
Rating: Arrrrrrr for secksings and drugs
Warning: Um, there is het sex. I PROMISE YOU WON’T HATE IT. And there is voyeurism. And conversations about the mistreatment of penises.
A/N: Sorry this took so long. I had a mild spaz out during which I decided I cannot write. This spaz out has not ended but I at least am apathetic to the situation enough that I shall post this. Anyway, blah blah blah, I suck at posting things in a timely fashion sorry *insert excuse here*.
Previous Chapter:
Chapter One
Length: 3594
Feedback: Always welcome with open arms and loads of metaphorical cookies.
Summary: A story of tours, drugs, alcohol, and the occasional act of gayness between friends.



( ''You would choose your cock above sight.'' )

Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).

Any mention of 'The Daily Show', 'The Colbert Report', 'Viacom', any associated entities, or any copyrighted material pertaining therein is reasonably protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976 and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrighted material.

"Confucius say: Lovers in triangle, not on square."


Feel free to try and decipher that little nugget of wisdom.

I believe this was my reaction when I watched this drunk last night:

D: